Chapter Twenty: Parkinson’s Disease

Bela and I have always been avid walkers. One day in the summer of 1988, while walking, Bela noticed that my left arm was hanging limp, while the right arm was swinging. Bela insisted that if I paid special attention to my left arm then it would swing like the right one. We had a number of heated arguments, where I maintained that I did not pay special attention to swinging my right arm it swung naturally. Why should the left arm be treated differently?

In the beginning when we noticed this change, I blamed it on the deterioration of the shoulder joint, (which was caused by the lashing I received in the concentration camps) it had become progressively more painful as time went on. During the following visit to the general practitioner (G.P.) I brought this problem to his attention. He referred me to a physio-therapist. After three months, of taking physio-therapy three times a week, there was no improvement whatsoever.

The problem with the arm being limp, was only one symptom - there were others in the making. As a rule I ate a meal with a knife and fork, keeping the fork in the left hand. Instead of raising the fork to my mouth, I was bending my head to the plate.

I also noticed slight tremors in the left arm. While I was jogging, my left foot occasionally became uncontrollable, while this was annoying, I did not pay attention to it. In the late fall of 1989, after leaving the office, I got into my car and my whole body started to shake. I could not start the motor until the shaking subsided, which lasted approximately five minutes. I did not pay much attention to this incident either, thinking I had caught a chill and that it might develop into a cold.

In February 1990, Bela and I, together with Claude and his wife Diane, took a trip to Israel. While we were visiting the Tower of David in Jerusalem, my body again started to shake. It was similar to what I had experienced the previous fall. I could not stand on my feet and had to sit down on the steps until the shaking subsided, which lasted longer than before. This time I associated this trembling with the previous episode, and became a little concerned.

On three previous occasions, I had requested my G.P. in Montreal to give me a referral to see a Neurologist - he always refused. This time I insisted and he finally consented.

After a brief examination and answering some pertinent questions, the neurologist without any preamble told me that I had Parkinson's Disease. This was a shock to me, but I soon regained my composure and told the doctor that I would prove him wrong in his diagnosis. He had a smile on his face and said "you are not the first patient who thinks I made an error in the diagnosis - I wish you were right." At that time I had no knowledge of what Parkinson’s illness was, so I visited the library and read all the books pertaining to this illness.

For several months I had the idea that the neurologist had made an error in his diagnosis, but needless to say he was right. Then I read a book written by Norman Cousins entitled "Head First". In it I found a sentence that reads as follows; "Do not fight diagnosis but defy the prognosis". It struck me as if he had written this sentence strictly for me. I realized that I had been fighting a losing battle trying to prove the doctor wrong, it was wasting valuable energy and it was an element that I could not afford to waste.

I had slowed down considerably, I started to have difficulty with the dexterity of my fingers, like buttoning a shirt, or tying shoe laces. At times I got so frustrated that I felt like screaming, but at the same time, I would not permit anyone to help me. I was determined to accomplish these tasks, even if performing them took more time.

There were other symptoms, like accumulation of saliva in the mouth, thus distorting the speech. My balance appeared to be affected, along with numerous other symptoms that I have not described here.

As I was given a regimen of medication, I abstained from all alcoholic beverages. The neurologist suggested that I should carry on with my life as before. That is exactly what I did and what I continue to do up to the present day.

As I was jogging before this illness I continued doing it. As I get older I jog less but walk more. I devised a special exercise to prevent shuffling my feet. I walk high steps 300 times as part of my daily exercise. Its an excellent exercise for the cardio-vascular system and it helps me to walk normally.

As soon as I wake up in the morning (very early) I start the exercises while still in bed. I start with wiggling my toes, and exercise every joint in my body. Then together with Bela we walk to the park. We walk three to four miles (Bela jogs some of it) and finish with cooling down exercises.

I consider Parkinson's Disease a challenge, and like all challenges, some I win and some I lose. However, strong will and determination goes a long way. Although there is no cure yet for Parkinson's, extensive research is going on and there is hope that a cure will soon be found.

I frequently face the dilemma of not knowing how to react to certain symptoms. It reminds me of the "serenity prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr as follows - "God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I can honestly state that medication and exercises are the two most important elements that keeps this illness under control. Another important element that helps retard the progression of this sickness is the attitude a patient has towards this debilitating sickness.

Many people who suffer from Parkinson’s rely solely on the medical profession to cure them, thereby relinquishing their own responsibility. I believe that the responsibility for my well being rests primarily with me. What I expect from the medical profession is to help me succeed.

Some of the people who are afflicted with Parkinson’s call themselves Parkinsonians. I do not like to be called a Parkinsonian, because it indicates that the disease takes the forefront, which dominates the action and behaviour of the individual.

I maintain that I have Parkinson’s Disease among other things. It is I who remains in control of the sickness and not vice versa. Superficially there seems to be a slight difference between the two approaches but it is a very important one.

As I am writing these memoirs at the age of 76, nearly ten years have passed since I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and people who are not aware that I have this sickness, would not suspect it because of my behaviour. I lead an active, interesting and meaningful lifestyle and whatever inconveniences this illness has caused, I have learned to cope with it. My hope is that it should not get worse. I take one day at a time -- I do not want to foresee the future. I live in the present and try to make it meaningful so that life is worthwhile living.

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