Chapter Twenty-One: Beth Ora Seniors

When I retired at the age of 70, we took a guided tour through New Zealand and Australia, together with our friends Miriam and Simon Schnayer. Miriam is the daughter of the people to whom we brought regards from in Germany, and thanks to them we joined the Yiddish book discussion club.

We left Montreal in the middle of the winter and arrived in Auckland in the middle of summer. From Auckland, we traveled by bus to Rotorua. It was an exceptionally hot and humid day. The following morning while trying to shave I became dizzy and fainted. Bela tried to revive me and she succeeded temporarily. But as I tried to get back into bed I collapsed again. Bela did not know what to do. She was frightened and asked Miriam to call a doctor. Within 10 minutes the doctor was in my hotel room.

The doctor took my blood pressure, and gave me a thorough examination of the heart and after five minutes took my blood pressure again. She told me then that when she took my blood pressure the first time she did not believe the reading, but taking it the second time the first reading was confirmed. My blood pressure was 108 over 59, (which is very low) and was caused by dehydration. I was ordered to stay in bed and drink lots of liquids. When the evening rolled around I was up and walking about quite normally. However, the fear that I caused Bela still lingers.

In Melbourne, Australia, we met our close friend Muniu Epstein. He is one of the six boys of our group from before the war, and he is the one who traveled with me right after the liberation in search of our Belas. We had a very pleasant reunion.

When we returned home I had to establish a new routine of activities. Although I had always been an avid reader, I felt, in order to have a meaningful life, reading alone was not enough. I needed contact with people.

Bela and I joined the Beth Ora Seniors, which is a branch of the Golden Age Association. Every Tuesday afternoon there is a guest speaker and the lecture is followed by a question period.

Then I found out that Beth Ora Seniors have a book Discussion Group, to which I joined. Little did I know that I would be the only man among eighteen women. At the first session, I felt a little uncomfortable, not taking into consideration that with my presence I may have caused some of the women to feel uncomfortable as well. As this group had been meeting for some time and they knew each other, they felt free to voice their opinions, as women tend to do, but with my presence they may have felt restricted.

The leader of the book discussion group, Min Kofman, a retired teacher who taught our two daughters in high school, is a very capable, soft spoken personality, who made me feel comfortable and welcome. I, on the other hand, am not a quitter. Once I decide to undertake something I usually persevere.

Min prepares the list of assigned books to read, reviews the books, and chairs the discussion. Several years have passed since I joined this group, and I now feel like I have an extended family. The ambiance created by Min is very conducive to the members actively participating in the discussions, some members including me bring book reviews.

I am still the only man in the book discussion group, but I am fully integrated and accepted by everybody. Being the only man among two score of women has its' advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that when I speak everybody listens. The disadvantage is that when the discussion concerns men, it is expected that I should hold the fort for men, right or wrong.

While I attend the book discussion group, Bela attends a class for soapstone sculpture. She is a very talented individual, artistically inclined. She has done some paintings in the past but lately she enjoys working with sculptures. She has accumulated quite a few of her creations that could easily be exhibited to the public. Bela has many qualities. She is an excellent cook, a perfect hostess, a logical thinker, has the ability to recognize a person's character after the first meeting, and anything she undertakes is done to perfection. This is why I can seldom do anything around the house and have my participation accepted at face value.

As we both come from a similar background, same social class, went through the war years in a ghetto and concentration camps, this gave our married life a solid foundation of understanding each other. Through marriage, we formed a team with similar goals and objectives, yet we cherish our individualities, and respect the other's opinion, even when we disagree.

I was fortunate to have met Bela after the war, when many of our friends perished. since I have been stricken with the Parkinson's illness, Bela has proven to be an excellent and considerate caregiver.

I have been striving all through my life to achieve an equilibrium within myself - peace of mind. By and large, I have been successful in achieving this balance, but as life is not static there are situations in life where the equilibrium is shattered - thrown out of kilter, luckily for only brief periods

I am writing these memoirs primarily for the family and their future generations, as well as for my friends.

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