Chapter Thirteen: Canada

While we were living in Germany, Bela and I decided not to have children. We wanted to settle in a country far away from Europe. We applied for permission to go to Australia and/or Canada. The permission to enter Canada was granted to us before Australia responded.

In the meantime, my younger brother Elek, decided to go to Palestine illegally with the "Aliya "B"". He arrived in Palestine May 14, 1948, the day Ben Gurion proclaimed the establishment of the State of Israel. Without any previous military training, he was drafted into the Israeli army to defend the country from the onslaught by the Arab states.

Bela and I were crossing the Atlantic ocean on the ship S.S. Samaria, we arrived in Halifax the 3rd of December 1948.

My elder brother Chaim, who married Bela's sister Mania in 1946, came over on the same ship with their one-year old boy Aaron. On the train from Halifax to Montreal, Aaron took sick with a high fever. The train stopped in Moncton, where Chaim, Mania and Aaron disembarked so they could take Aaron to the hospital, Bela and I continued our journey to Montreal.

We were brought to a temporary camp outside Montreal, to Saint Paul l'Hermite, - and from there, each one had to make his own arrangements to find lodging in Montreal. The only person we knew to be living in Montreal was Bela's cousin Peter, who left Mittenwald three months before our arrival. Peter had an uncle who lived in Montreal for many years, whose address we were given by Peter before he left.

From Saint Paul, I was given a ride in a car into Montreal and I was dropped of at the corner of Bernard and Parc Avenue. Peter's uncle lived on Esplanade near St. Joseph Blvd. I had no clue where this location was in relation to where I was. I had no knowledge of English nor French. I was frightened and at a complete loss. Finally, I showed the piece of paper with Peter's uncle's address to a passerby, and he motioned to me in which direction I had to go. I finally found the place.

We arrived in Montreal penniless so we borrowed $50.00 from Peter to buy food. On the ship, Bela and I promised ourselves not to take hand-outs from any organization, Bela had a trade as a dressmaker and I as a cabinetmaker, and we had high hopes to start a new life successfully.

Peter's uncle helped us find lodging. We rented the room from ultra-Orthodox Jews. They treated us with respect, but we were restricted in that all food purchases were made by the lady of the house. They kept a strictly Kosher home.

Several weeks later Chaim, with his family, arrived in Montreal from Moncton.

Bela started to work as a dressmaker immediately after our arrival and earned a higher wage than me. She was very pleased with the ambiance in the workshop. After several months I noticed Bela's enthusiasm diminishing, so in a conversation I asked her whether the cause of her depression was because the time had come to have a child. Several weeks passed and her mood did not change, so I took the responsibility for Bela to become pregnant. Bela's mood changed the moment Polly was born.

Bela's sister Mania found it difficult to live in a rented room with a young child. She convinced us that it would be advisable for our two families to rent a place jointly.

After a long search, we found an unheated house (it was heated by a small stove with ducts running through the house) for which we had to pay several hundred dollars 'under the table'. This was called 'key money'.

We signed a three-year lease, little did we know that we had rented a place which was rat infested. In addition, when the cold winter weather arrived, we were unable to heat the house to a point where we could be comfortable.

Polly developed pneumonia at the age of three months. When the doctor came to examine the baby, and saw our surroundings, he said "instead of paying me, use the money to get out of this rat hole and rent something decent."

We had no intention of having both families live together after our lease expired -- three years together was more than enough. We learned our lesson from this experience. Firstly not to rent an unheated house and secondly, not to live with our extended family under the same roof.

Before leaving Mittenwald, a friend of ours Moishe Berman, gave us an address of his relatives living in Montreal, corner Duluth and City Hall. I went to see them and relayed regards from their nephew, and I could converse with them in Yiddish. They were members of a Yiddish Literature club called the "Dr. Zhitlovski Kreis" they extended an invitation to us to join this club, which we gratefully accepted. We actively participated in this club which enriched our education. The majority of the members were much older than us and had a rich knowledge of Yiddish Literature. The club was dissolved in the 1980's due to the natural death of the members.

Sunday mornings on Esplanade Avenue, is where the new arrivals met. I found out from another cabinetmaker that a furniture factory in the East end of Montreal was in the process of hiring tradesmen. I applied and after two days tryout was accepted on a permanent basis. The system of work in this factory was that each employee did a certain task - a portion of the cabinet, - so that the work became repetitive. This way one did not have to be a trained qualified cabinetmaker.

My job consisted of fitting drawers into the cabinets. For this type of work I did not have to use my brain, my hands did the work and the mind was free to wander, naturally into the past I was working in a furniture factory in Montreal. Mentally, however, I re-lived all the past events, incidents, happenings in the ghetto and in the camps, day after day. At night I had nightmares which was a continuation of the mind's activity during the day. I realized that I must do something to get out of this dangerous situation, and felt that by changing jobs where the work would require my full attention, the past would be crowded out. Otherwise I felt that my destination would be the insane asylum.

As a result of this mental anguish, I developed stomach pains. The doctor suggested I have x-rays taken at a cost of $50.00. I could not afford to pay this amount and was advised to get financial help from the Jewish Immigrant Aid Society. There was no alternative but to take help from the JIAS.

After responding to some questions, one of which was the date of my arrival in Canada, the clerk searched through a file, but could not find my name. She then said "you must have arrived in Canada with money because until now you have not requested help from us, which is an indication that you arrived with money." I was shocked and speechless for a few brief moments. As I regained my composure, I explained to the lady that while on the ship to Canada, my wife and I promised each other not to resort to hand-outs from any organization, although we arrived penniless (literally without a penny), and that we borrowed $50.00 from our cousin in order to buy food.

Listening to my Yiddish explanation, she was amazed at our behaviour, because many of the newcomers who arrived with funds came to them asking for and receiving help. She found it incredible that somebody had arrived with no money and did not request help until he found himself in a precarious position. The Jewish Immigrant Aid Society paid for the x-rays.

Bela's cousin Peter, was also a trained cabinetmaker who was fortunate to get a job in the Steinberg's carpentry shop. This company had a number of grocery stores, and were in the process of expanding their business building new stores. The carpentry shop was producing all the interior fixtures for the new stores. The rate of pay was far superior to what I had earned.

Peter found out that the company wanted to hire more tradesman, and he was well aware that I wanted to get away from the furniture factory, so he arranged an interview for me. The interview was brief -- I was hired to start work the following morning.

I went back to the furniture factory to advise the foreman that I would be leaving. As soon as the owner heard of my decision, he offered me an increase in pay so that I would remain with him.

I explained to him that the reason for changing jobs was not the money, although I could use a better salary. The main reason is that I needed a job that was challenging -- where my mind would be occupied, instead of wandering into the past. I expected that the new job would help me to get out of the doldrums. I was not wrong in my expectations. Changing jobs at that time was my salvation.

Up to this point in my life I carried within myself the idea of vengeance for all the atrocities the Germans had committed against our people. I then began to realize that this feeling of vengeance - the hate I felt - did nothing to the people I hated, but rather, it was a poison affecting my health. My aim then was to eliminate this feeling of hatred and vengeance, and after some time, I enjoyed success in this regard.

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